A word of warning...this blog post may offend you. If you are offended easily, get off the internet. ;)
I've already posted one time about a list of my "pregnancy pet peeves". I may be espescially susceptible to an angry post tonight. We are staying in a hotel in Colorado, so we can go to a wedding tomorrow, and the people on the floor on top of us have been stomping around their room since we checked in (which was at 6 pm and now it's 9 pm). I may or may not be extra sensitive right now.
Anyway, there are the standard things that really grate on my nerves about pregnancy and infertility. I"m sure i''m not the only one who has these thoughts. My earlier list included statements such as "so when are you going to have children?", "it's all in His timing" and baby on board stickers. I'm updating a list to include "people who are disappointed in the gender of their baby".
This all got started the other day when I opened up our homepage, which was Yahoo, and there is a coverstory about Snooki. If you don't know who Snooki is, she's the pint-size Jersey Shore brat that fights a lot and is as tan as an Oompa Loompa. The article details how Snooki is pregant and how she was "Initally Disappointed Over Baby's Sex". I seriously wanted to gag myself with a spoon after I begrudgingly read the article. Here is a link to the article on Yahoo....Snooki Disappointed Over Baby's Sex
Now, I do understand that people are only human. I will be the first to admit that I have dreams of 3 children. 2 girls, close in age, and an adorable little brother to follow a couple years later. Think of the Middletons. What an adorable and precious family. Who wouldn't something like that? It just really bothers me when people announce which sex they want their baby to be. Of course, we all are supposed to feel a little guilty when it's the opposite, but I secretly (or not so secretly anymore) don't feel bad. I personally feel bad for the poor child, because i'm not sure about other people, but I have a knack for remembering that you wanted your little girl to be a boy or vice versa. I'm just warning you, there are probably others out there that remember too. And everytime we look at your beautiful child, we know that you wanted him/her to be a her/him. Now, if you kept that information to yourself, more power to you. I just feel bad for the kid who didn't turn out the way that you intitally thought you wanted. Naturally, every parents says they will love their child no matter what sex it is, and I wholeheartedly believe that. When you give birth, there are a flood of bonding hormones that go into your system and helps that process to happen. I get it. I know that you don't love your him/her any less. I'm just saying that it really annoys a person who suffers from infertility.
I"m not trying to call anyone out on past or future behavior, except for maybe Snooki. I think as a public figure, she sets the bar for appropriate behavior. I kind of what to tell people who are rooting for it to be one sex or the other to be glad they have a baby in the first place. Kind of like on A Christmas Story and the Mom tells Randy to eat all of his food on his plate, because think of all the starving children in Africa who don't have food. Well, same principle. I would love to not have Unexplained Infertility. I would to have a baby, no matter what, and not complain that it wasn't the way I wanted it to be.
If you are pregnant, or planning on becoming pregnant, and are reading this, just be aware of things you say. I'm not implying that you should have to censor everything that you want to say. I'm just trying to explain that it seems like you might be complaining about getting one awesome present, while like Charlie Brown, " I got a rock".
Still feeling perturbed by the Elephants upstairs,
Mrs. K
I totally know where you are coming from. I have always said I want boys, I still do, but man do I love my girls and I feel blessed to have them.
ReplyDeleteThere was a couple in my hubby's shop who when they found out they were having a girl he said "no you're wrong" and walked out of the ultrasound. He then continued to complain the rest of the pregnancy about it. When his second baby came along and they found out it was a boy they both were over the top...I feel bad for their little girl.
Everyone has their preference but you are right that a baby is a gift regardless the sex. I love reading your blog. You are very down to earth and tell it like it is. Good for you.
Though I am guilty of this one (I totally wanted a boy-but mostly for the fact that I CANNOT do hair, my own is a mess most of the time)...can I add another one?
ReplyDeletePeople who complain throughout their whole pregnancy about being pregnant. I have seen, as of late, a lot of people who are pregnant complain about every last thing. I get it, it sucks to pee at every hour of the night, your back hurts, etc. and I am sure I whined some, but there are people who would kill for a backache just to have a baby in their belly. It makes me so mad when people seem to take it for granted, and I just have to walk away, or not view their statuses!!
Have you ever thought about adopting?
ReplyDeleteTamara....
ReplyDeleteThe short answer to your question is "yes", but of course, there is a long answer too. It really has only been 2 years since we have begun the "trying to conceive process" and only a year since I was informed of "unexplained infertility. I"m still young enough that I want to keep trying to have one of my own. Also, adoption is very, very expensive and there is a lot of paperwork involved if you want to get the Army to pay for it (If you couldn't tell, i'm an Army wife). Also, the timing just haven't been right for us. Hubby was in a very strenuous schooling situation and it just seems like one thing after another have popped up. I"m giving it another year and half, which is until i'm 30, and if it hasn't happened, Hubby and I will really start having that conversation. I love the idea of adoption, maybe that will work out someday too. Thanks for reading!! :)