A word of warning...this blog post may offend you. If you are offended easily, get off the internet. ;)
I've already posted one time about a list of my "pregnancy pet peeves". I may be espescially susceptible to an angry post tonight. We are staying in a hotel in Colorado, so we can go to a wedding tomorrow, and the people on the floor on top of us have been stomping around their room since we checked in (which was at 6 pm and now it's 9 pm). I may or may not be extra sensitive right now.
Anyway, there are the standard things that really grate on my nerves about pregnancy and infertility. I"m sure i''m not the only one who has these thoughts. My earlier list included statements such as "so when are you going to have children?", "it's all in His timing" and baby on board stickers. I'm updating a list to include "people who are disappointed in the gender of their baby".
This all got started the other day when I opened up our homepage, which was Yahoo, and there is a coverstory about Snooki. If you don't know who Snooki is, she's the pint-size Jersey Shore brat that fights a lot and is as tan as an Oompa Loompa. The article details how Snooki is pregant and how she was "Initally Disappointed Over Baby's Sex". I seriously wanted to gag myself with a spoon after I begrudgingly read the article. Here is a link to the article on Yahoo....Snooki Disappointed Over Baby's Sex
Now, I do understand that people are only human. I will be the first to admit that I have dreams of 3 children. 2 girls, close in age, and an adorable little brother to follow a couple years later. Think of the Middletons. What an adorable and precious family. Who wouldn't something like that? It just really bothers me when people announce which sex they want their baby to be. Of course, we all are supposed to feel a little guilty when it's the opposite, but I secretly (or not so secretly anymore) don't feel bad. I personally feel bad for the poor child, because i'm not sure about other people, but I have a knack for remembering that you wanted your little girl to be a boy or vice versa. I'm just warning you, there are probably others out there that remember too. And everytime we look at your beautiful child, we know that you wanted him/her to be a her/him. Now, if you kept that information to yourself, more power to you. I just feel bad for the kid who didn't turn out the way that you intitally thought you wanted. Naturally, every parents says they will love their child no matter what sex it is, and I wholeheartedly believe that. When you give birth, there are a flood of bonding hormones that go into your system and helps that process to happen. I get it. I know that you don't love your him/her any less. I'm just saying that it really annoys a person who suffers from infertility.
I"m not trying to call anyone out on past or future behavior, except for maybe Snooki. I think as a public figure, she sets the bar for appropriate behavior. I kind of what to tell people who are rooting for it to be one sex or the other to be glad they have a baby in the first place. Kind of like on A Christmas Story and the Mom tells Randy to eat all of his food on his plate, because think of all the starving children in Africa who don't have food. Well, same principle. I would love to not have Unexplained Infertility. I would to have a baby, no matter what, and not complain that it wasn't the way I wanted it to be.
If you are pregnant, or planning on becoming pregnant, and are reading this, just be aware of things you say. I'm not implying that you should have to censor everything that you want to say. I'm just trying to explain that it seems like you might be complaining about getting one awesome present, while like Charlie Brown, " I got a rock".
Still feeling perturbed by the Elephants upstairs,
Mrs. K
Friday, May 25, 2012
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Sacrifice
I"m sorry I haven't been able to post in a long time. We've moved 1000 miles from our other duty station and we bought a house in the process, so I have been trying to get everything straightened out on this end and have been looking for a job like a man woman as well.
Don't take my "blog silence" as there being any news to report, there isn't. :(
Anyway....
Now that flight school is over, I thought it would be a perfect time to get back into the baby frame of mind. After all, our original plan was to maybe wait until after flight school was finished and blah blah blah. Well, it seems like there is always something in the way to my plans. I"m trying really hard to be patient and trust in God's plan for me, but it is increasingly difficult. We have this brand new, beautiful house and now seems like the perfect time to fill it up, but God has something else in my path.
After getting somewhat settled into our new house, I received a call out of the blue from Be The Match, a bone marrow registry. Let me back track here a second. Back in 2009, when I was still teaching in Georgia, we had a bone marrow registry drive for a fellow teacher who was battling adult leukemia. A bunch of us took the swabs in the cheek, so we could see if we were close match for genetic markers. Unfortunately, no match was found and she subsequently passed away. Fast forward a couple of years,and I get a called from Laurie, coordinator for the southern region for Be The Match. Evidently my cheek swab has come back as a preliminary match for a little 9 year old boy who is battling leukemia. See, you can only find out the gender, age and affliction for the person, nothing else. I took the health survey and we determined I was in excellent health. We scheduled an appointment for me to go and have my blood drawn to see if my bone marrow or blood stem sells were a match for this little boy. Of course it came out on the survey that I had taken Clomid, but almost luckily, I haven't taken the dosage in a couple of months. If it turns out that I am a match for the boy, I obviously can't take any more perscription drugs or even be pregnant. I had my blood taken a couple of days ago, and BTM will contact me somewhere within 2-12 weeks.
This is such a huge decision to make. It means potential pain, and waiting even longer. But it also means that I might be able to save a little boy's life in the mean time. It's just such timing, because right before we left Alabama, I decided that I was going to be a little bit more selfish. It feels like I am constantly doing things for others, or going with whatever someone else wants to do. Even if I don't want to do something, I usually do it because "it's the right thing to do" and 'that's how I want to be treated". And you know what, at the first opportunity I get, i'm back to trying to do the right thing for everyone else but myself. It's like my "intentional rude switch" is broken.(I"m never INTENTIONALLY rude/mean to someone, most of the time if I am, it's because i'm awkward). I thought about all the people that I knew that wouldn't be able to donate even if they wanted to, because of their health, or people who were on any kind of perscription drugs.
I came out of the lab after my blood was drawn praying. I prayed that if I couldn't have what I wanted, then please, let someone else have what they needed. This little boy, who is battling leukemia, needs bone marrow, so he can have the opportunity to do, well anything he wants. I am praying that we are a match, and I can donate to him. There have been so many people that I have known about recently who have been afflicted with various illlnesses and it makes me so sad. I have been praying for health and the healing power that Jesus brings to people. I think about what I would do if I lost one or both of my parents. I'm still young. I don't want to think about that. I would do anything in my very power to help one of them. I"m sure this little boys parents feel the same way. What if this mother was in the same situation as me and he was her "miracle" baby? It just breaks my heart to think about what him and his family must be going through right now.
I guess it goes back to the cliche I live by "treat others how you would want to be treated". If I ever have a little boy, and he has leukemia, I would want someone to make a sacrifice on their part, to give him a chance to be healthy. Wouldn't you? I think it's greatly unfair to ask someone to make a sacrifice that you wouldn't do yourself.
I try not to ask this a lot, but since you have taken the time to read this, would you mind sending your positive thoughts and prayers this way that I am a match to this little boy? And, if it's not too much to ask, that I find out quickly, and I don't have to wait the whole 12 weeks? I believe in the power of prayer, and my heart is heavy for someone I don't even know. I'm hoping that if I can't get what I want, then someone else can get what they need.
Don't worry, there will be more blog posts coming, because *hopefully* i'll be donating. :) Thank you in advance friends.
Much Love,
J
Don't take my "blog silence" as there being any news to report, there isn't. :(
Anyway....
Now that flight school is over, I thought it would be a perfect time to get back into the baby frame of mind. After all, our original plan was to maybe wait until after flight school was finished and blah blah blah. Well, it seems like there is always something in the way to my plans. I"m trying really hard to be patient and trust in God's plan for me, but it is increasingly difficult. We have this brand new, beautiful house and now seems like the perfect time to fill it up, but God has something else in my path.
After getting somewhat settled into our new house, I received a call out of the blue from Be The Match, a bone marrow registry. Let me back track here a second. Back in 2009, when I was still teaching in Georgia, we had a bone marrow registry drive for a fellow teacher who was battling adult leukemia. A bunch of us took the swabs in the cheek, so we could see if we were close match for genetic markers. Unfortunately, no match was found and she subsequently passed away. Fast forward a couple of years,and I get a called from Laurie, coordinator for the southern region for Be The Match. Evidently my cheek swab has come back as a preliminary match for a little 9 year old boy who is battling leukemia. See, you can only find out the gender, age and affliction for the person, nothing else. I took the health survey and we determined I was in excellent health. We scheduled an appointment for me to go and have my blood drawn to see if my bone marrow or blood stem sells were a match for this little boy. Of course it came out on the survey that I had taken Clomid, but almost luckily, I haven't taken the dosage in a couple of months. If it turns out that I am a match for the boy, I obviously can't take any more perscription drugs or even be pregnant. I had my blood taken a couple of days ago, and BTM will contact me somewhere within 2-12 weeks.
This is such a huge decision to make. It means potential pain, and waiting even longer. But it also means that I might be able to save a little boy's life in the mean time. It's just such timing, because right before we left Alabama, I decided that I was going to be a little bit more selfish. It feels like I am constantly doing things for others, or going with whatever someone else wants to do. Even if I don't want to do something, I usually do it because "it's the right thing to do" and 'that's how I want to be treated". And you know what, at the first opportunity I get, i'm back to trying to do the right thing for everyone else but myself. It's like my "intentional rude switch" is broken.(I"m never INTENTIONALLY rude/mean to someone, most of the time if I am, it's because i'm awkward). I thought about all the people that I knew that wouldn't be able to donate even if they wanted to, because of their health, or people who were on any kind of perscription drugs.
I came out of the lab after my blood was drawn praying. I prayed that if I couldn't have what I wanted, then please, let someone else have what they needed. This little boy, who is battling leukemia, needs bone marrow, so he can have the opportunity to do, well anything he wants. I am praying that we are a match, and I can donate to him. There have been so many people that I have known about recently who have been afflicted with various illlnesses and it makes me so sad. I have been praying for health and the healing power that Jesus brings to people. I think about what I would do if I lost one or both of my parents. I'm still young. I don't want to think about that. I would do anything in my very power to help one of them. I"m sure this little boys parents feel the same way. What if this mother was in the same situation as me and he was her "miracle" baby? It just breaks my heart to think about what him and his family must be going through right now.
I guess it goes back to the cliche I live by "treat others how you would want to be treated". If I ever have a little boy, and he has leukemia, I would want someone to make a sacrifice on their part, to give him a chance to be healthy. Wouldn't you? I think it's greatly unfair to ask someone to make a sacrifice that you wouldn't do yourself.
I try not to ask this a lot, but since you have taken the time to read this, would you mind sending your positive thoughts and prayers this way that I am a match to this little boy? And, if it's not too much to ask, that I find out quickly, and I don't have to wait the whole 12 weeks? I believe in the power of prayer, and my heart is heavy for someone I don't even know. I'm hoping that if I can't get what I want, then someone else can get what they need.
Don't worry, there will be more blog posts coming, because *hopefully* i'll be donating. :) Thank you in advance friends.
Much Love,
J
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